The Frowned Upon Networking Strategy- Secret Revealed in Building Leadership and Social Capital

     The Cold Shoulder Treatment

     Have you experienced talking to some "old friends" you've never met for years and they gave you a cold shoulder? Have you wondered why you've sent a long email or Facebook message to a friend and that person answered only one word like "okay","yes","sure" etc to you? Have you tried smiling, opening yourself for a conversation to a stranger to meet new friends, but that person never even acknowledged your greetings? How many of you have been hurt or offended by this kind of behavior because you felt like you were treated as a "nobody"? Why do these things happen?Aside from lack of interpersonal relationship skills,there is one main reason why others usually behave indifferently to other people's way of connecting and reaching out.

Great Values At Home Influence Interpersonal Relationship

     The cold shoulder treatment is a behavior experienced across cultures around the globe. But it hurts the most when we get that treatment from people we have known for so long because we are shocked by their reactions.However, there are exceptions. For some people who have great values at home and those who have learned to develop their interpersonal skills earlier in life through reading,trainings,and experience,will interact consciously and deliberately to build relationship and increase their social capital. These are the people who most likely are successful in their social dealings.

False Assumption About Networking Business Strategy

     Ordinary people who have no formation at home and don't have strong values to influence their behavior are most likely to fall short in this aspect of public relationship and human relationship skills.It is because majority of the people will only "connect" and "network" when they think they can get something from others using them for personal advantage.

If they think they have nothing to benefit from the encounter, they will not pay attention or take you seriously.  In business, the same things happen.Some businessmen will only treat you well when they think you are a positive prospect. Some friends and families will also treat you well when they need something from you. That's the reality,right? The worst thing is, if you are in "networking business" people treat you as trash because they have false assumption about the idea of networking. However, I have observed that even if you are not in the networking business, it is a basic human characteristic to only act courteous  and attentive to someone whom we think we can gain something from.

Building Social Capital Through Open Networking

     So, why is this so?The real purpose of "networking" is to build social capital, to build relationship so that you enable to achieve your goal,fulfill your mission and make your contribution to the world.What does "social capital" mean? The central premise of social capital is that social networks have value. Social capital refers to the collective value of all "social networks" [who people know and don't know] and the inclinations that arise from these networks to do things for each other ["norms of reciprocity"].(wikipedia) The essential purpose of building relationship is to connect so that you benefit by making positive  contribution into the lives of others and they too in their own way.

The richer your social network, the richer your life because is because there are lots of 

resources in social networking: 

information,leads,career,opportunities,financial capital,power,emotional support,

goodwill,trust,cooperation,etc. 

If you are into building your social capital through networking especially for entrepreneurial networking, the most useful type of networking is OPEN NETWORK" or establishing "indirect links".

Open network means reaching out to other people you don't know.The more people you know who are not connected to each other, the broader access you have to resources. Open networks are more valuable than closed networks.

The Law of Reciprocity in Networking,In Connecting With People

     What's the secret to networking then? To gain other people's trust,respect and admiration, especially for open networks, you are willing to help them, you need to contribute something and to provide value. If you make life better for others, then people are more likely to exert effort in your behalf. "The more likely you are working for your self-interest,the less likely others will extend themselves to help you.The "law of reciprocity" is the driving force, the engine in any endeavor whether it be in business or ordinary dealings to improve interaction with others and to increase likelihood for people to like you." (Dr. Friedman,Total Leadership)

     In conclusion,don't feel hurt when someone snobs or ignores you, despite the fact that you know that person for a very long time. Whatever the reason is,think about the law of reciprocity and try to find out,figure out what value or help you can give to that person.Your purpose is to connect and build relationship(Kiko Javier, founder of Supreme Wealth Alliance Ultimate),not to have enemies,although you may have adversaries. Reach out to other people outside your friends and relatives and develop the so called"open networks" and identify people and group who can help you build and achieve your goals. Remember,building social capital is a portable,lifelong asset.

"Gain power through the "Master Mind", 

the power of coordination  of knowledge and effort,

in a spirit of harmony,between two or more people,

 for the attainment of a definite purpose." Napoleon Hill

Ma. Weena Tambanillo
Full-timeHomemaker